That's hysterical!
A friend of mine calls that the Frankencruise.

When i flirt, i like to pick urinals without partitions. Sometimes i end up standing alone in the bathroom for a very long time. When someone does finally arrive and if they decide to take a urinal within eyeshot of me, i simply stare intently at their penis while allowing mine to swell to an erect state. After i've successfully squandered any remote possiblity of them urinating for the next 20 minutes, i assess their member for length, girdth and any ongoing changes of length and girdth during the interaction. If they stick around this long, this usually ends with me allowing them to position themselves to where i can urinate into the orifice of my choosing.

I'm not sure what your problem is, but it sounds like you need to find a new place to flirt.

Very interesting question Mad.

Personally I flirst anyway that works. I don't care if the person knows i'm interested. Even if he, she or it* is not interested at least they know what their options are. I also will talk to people I think look hawt because they may have the looks but no brain what soever. I will also talk to people who have come up to me to chat, even if they aren't physically my type because something may click.

Grant you're way sounds kewl and ya don't worry about those people that don't look back. Looks fade but stupid is forever.

Pablito that's not flirting that's lude behaviour not that I mind or care or that I would stop peeing if you looked at my dick but please note the difference. ;)


* the it refered to that one time with a goat and he came on to me**.

** ok that last foot note was obviously a joke, ... I obviously came onto the goat first***.

*** joking aside ... goats are hot ;) WHAT!?!

"How do you flirt...are you guilty of the evil stare...or the"


I flirt with straight men. I don't flirt with known gay men because they're so heavy-handed that all the fun is drained out of it.

Also, if I let a gay man known that I'm gay (well, bi, but whatever), I start getting all kinds of catty remarks about other people in the room, etc., as if they've found a like-minded gossipy queen.

As for staring, I never do that. I smile and nod, say hello, etc. I avoid receiving the stare by looking away and pretending I see somebody else off in the distance, so I don't even give the guy the satisfaction of knowing that I received the stare.

Hmmmmm...
So much for sarcasm.
Although i do like that everyone takes their flirting so seriously.

I have no idea, gay men do not hit on me or flirt with me. Straight men do though.... a lot. Usually it's "you would be the only gay guy i'd ever fuck" type of thing.
Gay men ignore me like you wouldn't believe.

How straight men flirt: "Hey, do you come here often?"

How gay men flirt: "Suck it."

It entirely depends on what I want from them. If I know them and like them and want their friendship I'll usually say nothing as I value friendship more than an orgasm.

However, if they're hotter than fuck and I don't know them well enough to determine if they're likely to be a good friend or lover I'll simply offer them a blow job. It's unbelievably effective. Unfortunately they don't always leave when they're supposed to and I learn a tad too quickly that they are not qualified to be a friend or a lover (for any of several reasons).

Still.

Compliments and coy smiles are always effective if it would be rude or inappropriate to offer a blow job directly. The down side to that is that men are rather stupid (in general) when it comes to who is into them so I still believe the direct offer is considerably more effective.

Urinals smell bad. I try to avoid hooking up with someone there but as long as I don't get peed on I'm certainly not going to deny someone the pleasure of licking my weenie (or vice versa) if I think they're hot.

And like the other long haired dude said, "Straight boys flirt with me, gay boys ignore me." It's the weirdest and most frustrating thing in my life. I'd actually like a real relationship but... well... the het boys always go back to their wives or girlfriends or end up being psychotic in some way. I just wanna mate with balls AND courage to be who they are. Just balls aren't enough anymore, at least not for anything more than sex.

I read this thread in hopes of learning a few things.

Years ago, when I was first stepping out into the wonderful world of dating, I saw an attractive guy from across the dancefloor. I made my way over, and he smiled at me. I released all insecurity, walked up to him, and told him that I thought he was gorgeous.

"And you just blew it." he said, and walked off.

I haven't known how to approach a guy since. Everyone I've gone out with has either approached me, or we were brought together by an intermediary.

When I do try to flirt, more often than not, I'm like Grant, without the hoody.

I had a near miss recently. I was at a party, and struck up a conversation with a little cutey. At first, he seemed more nervous than I was, but was responsive to my clumsy attempt at conversation.

Just as we seemed to get comfortable with one-another, one of his friends grabbed him and ran off. I never saw him again.

Flirt. Smirt. I have never been good at it. I have never realized that someone was flirting with me. Just ask me if I wanna fuck. I am sorta simple.

i don't know how to flirt the least bit (unless i already know the person). even if someone i find cute looks at me, my instinct is to look away. i get all shy n' weak knee'd. but, the frankencruise is the creepiest. that just makes me wanna smack 'em. actually, i don't smack people, i deck 'em!! jk.

do not know how to flirt and if a queer were to flirt, i am oblivious to it.

I just did a tarot reading whining about my love life. The reading stated I have relationships for my ego, I'm a liar through the whole relationship, and need to grow up. It's all very true, and have decided to curtail flirtation. (I'm sure this all sounds very silly to some of you, but...) But when I do flirt, I use humor. I'll start talking to a guy and be comical and critical. For instance, I'll use large words to make fun of the room. This does a few things. It shows him I'm at least somewhat bright, it makes him feel like he's special because I'm letting him in on the secret that everyone in the room sucks except for him, and it makes him think I'm substantial by being somewhat bright and above everyone else's crap. Then I date him for three months to satisfy my ego and lie to him until I dump him and let him know I'm just like the others. Believe me, my cutting back on flirtation is a benefit to all of humanity right now.

Flirting is not a skill I have acquired...

somewhat to my chagrin, but well, I like to laugh and I try to make people laugh, so that tends to open some doors...

but, I get shy infront of people I am attracted to, so I clam up and withdraw, and avoid eye contact...


... damn... I didn't realize I was so pathetic...

Generally when someone trys to flirt with me i never notice. They stare and i think they have made some mistake or something or they ar elooking at somehting else and not me. If u wanna flirt with me its easier to be clear about your intenetions.. i agree with the whole gay men tell you to suck there dick if they wanna flirt with you not all but most ... And persoanlly i don't know what ever happend to just walking over and saying hello.. But, its the shyness factor really people regardless of age sex or orentation are affraid of rejection .. so it may be easier for one person to hit on you in the bathroom and another to stare and another to walk up to u and sart a conversation .. perosnally i think flirting depends on the comfort level of the person doing the flirting and when u really think about it the way a person flirts could tell u more about the person than the conversation that may or manot happen..

When I was in my early 20's I was PAINFULLY shy. I would go out with my friends to the Saloon or the 90's (this was in Minneapolis), and they would all end up hooking up and I would go home alone (*sob*). But my friend Ross finally sat me down and let me in on THE SECRET, I made a movie, went on Oprah and made millions! Hurrah! .... actually the friend told me that most gay men (even the super beautiful unicorn-like ones) were just as shy and intimated as I was, and that if I approached them that most of the time I would get lucky. And he was right.

I had/have two stages of flirting. I start with a stare, but since I have been accused of looking angry when I am not smiling, I make sure that I have a bemused, half smile on my face. I stare at them and then look away, then I look back and stare again, and then if I think that they are interested I walk up to them and ask if they are interested in going somewhere (my apartment for instance) to have some wine (beer, pot, etc) and make out. I would say that it works 7 times out of 10, which is better odds than I was doing before (and odds that I can live with)! My friend Pam used to sit and watch me do this Friday after Friday, and laugh her ass off! Of course, after I was WORKING it for a few months, I complained to Ross that none of the guys that I was sleeping with wanted to date and have a relationship. He told me that was a whole different secret....

I took the time to read or at least skim every single post on this topic. Wow--- I seem to see it a little differently. But then that makes sense-- I'm a transman who lived roughly half my life in a "female" (mostly way butch) role, and the second half in a male role, as a totally "passable" (hate that word) FTM.

First off, I have to make the distinction between "flirting" and "cruising". Maybe others don't divide them up, but I see "flirting" as more of an expression of interest in someone you might actually like as a person and/or want to date, have a casual-but-with-some-emotional-connection encounter, etc. "Cruising" , to me, is what you do when you want to get off asap.

The "Frankencruise" as an early poster called it---- that's totally about males putting up their guard (particularly with other males!), never showing weakness or submission, attempting to make sure that the other person knows how tough they are, that they're the "top" (regardless of actual sexual preferences). Every gay man in America knows that the tough, hard, unattainable, dominant, butch man is the idealized stereotype of what gay men find attractive. I learned the Frankencruise early on (I think I always had it, actually). It pretty much guarantees that I will get who I want in a bathhouse, sex club, etc. Oh, don't think I'm glorifying or justifying it--- I think it's totally fucked up. But it "works". If I were to go into the same settings and smile, act friendly (i.e act "natural" and be myself) very few people would show an interest. Mostly, I'd be seen as weak, desperate, not desirable. If I look unapproachable, look right through guys who smile at me, and act like God's Gift....men follow me around all night. I just lean against a wall with a look that says "if you're incredibly lucky you might end up on your knees in front of me--- but it's unlikely", and the reactions are 99% "positive", insofar as everyone goes for it, young and old, pot-bellied and gym-bodied, will try to get what I'm treating like "the prize".

I can no longer stomach this game often or for long, so I rarely do it anymore. Outside of those contexts, on the rare occasion that I see someone I'd like to get to know? The "natural" , "being myself", i.e being friendly, smiling, saying hello, being comfortable talking with anyone or starting conversations........that behavior is generally ignored, and people don't acknowledge my existence. Since I'm no longer 23 & I'm losing my hair, I don't exist in gay male spaces like bars or Pride events etc.

Very interesting thread. :)

Original post: " In my experience i get the stare, the mad dog look like you've just raped their parents, dismembered them alive and torched their house."

1. Establish eye contact
2. Walk up and say hello
3. Introduce yourself and ask their name
4. Ask them questions and try to get them talking
5. Joke about their responses i.e. be witty
6. If all of the above goes well work in the body language...move closer, touch them in some casual way (on the shoulder, arm or knee)
7. If that goes well then you can usually count on it being a successful flirtation and can push the contact envelope.

Important:

--Smile and look them in the eye
--Don't be a wimp....guys don't like wimps and if they do then they are usually pushy jerks
--If you're at a bar there is a certain assumption that everyone is at least open to flirtation (and gay) ....so go for it.

--If the eye contact is really intense right away...skip all of the above and just dive straight into them.

I have no idea how to flirt. In fact, To me when I flirt everything out of my mouth sounds like a cheesy pick-up line. "Hey baby... Who pulled the stars out of the sky and put them into your eyes... Ha-Cha..."

People don't usually give me the maddog stare cause I do look like the guy that can rape their parents, dismember them alive, and torch their house. Usually I get the stare... Thenlookaway! Stare... Thenlookaway! And yes, the stare-when-they-look-at-you-turn-their-head-and-act-like-you-don't-exist... I hate that shit...